Quick Scotty, beam me up!
- Oct 27, 2009
- Reaction score
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and
bills the State $200.00 testing it for diseases and $500.00 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200.00 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500.00 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000.00 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000.00 in state funds implementing
a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies
and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack
somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000.00 to hire and train
a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail.
A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her pistol and keeps jogging.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
And that's why California is broke.