Bluetooth device not appearing

I have always used bluetooth to transfer files between my phone and my pc, and recently I have purchased a bluetooth adapter to pull trouble codes from my car.
The problem is my pc & phone & adapter are all what I would call a passive connection. With xp my pc would be a "active" connection, meaning it would look for and request a pair, and a connection with any other device. However with 7, it will look for and request a pair with a device, but will not request a connection.
If it was just my phone it would not be that big a deal, as I can use a cable (but I prefer bt), but the only way to connect to the car adapter is if the computer request a connection.

Originally I could see the adapter in Devices&printers, but that was all. But after downloading a new bt driver the bt on the pc has completely quit.

So does anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

Is this the same issue as you solved thread or is this something different? Are you all set here too?

No this is a different problem, they are related but they are two separate issues.

Timeline: BT disappeared from D&P folder, then D&P folder disappeared, then fixed that problem. Now the BT dongle is showing, however at one time I could click on it and see the BT devices around the computer. Now, all the pc shows is the dongle, and the other devices can not see the pc.

I need the pc to request a connection with a couple of devices (I know this should be possible).
I have tried a different dongle, with no change, so somehow a setting has been changed. With XP I just knew where to look, but 7 is set up different and I just haven't figured it out

Imagine a phone that can not call out, only receive calls, that is my pc BT. I need pc to "dial out" and request a connection with other devices, instead of just responding to request sent to it. I don't know if I need a different type of hardware, or different software to accomplish this.

Right-click on the adapter in devices & printers ... choose bluetooth settings ... options tab.

Set those check boxes as needed.

Note: If you set that last one "show bluetooth icon in the notification area" then you can use that icon to quickly add a device, allow a device, see devices, send a file, or receive a file.